Blazing in the parking lot

Okay, so it gets back to the point where we light up in a parking lot. Thought I was beyond that, apparently I’m not. Ridiculous. So I’m done, again. Finish the last of what I had. Trying to get rid of the bubbler, again, and focussing on the notion that I’m ready to stop. I’m ready to break free. I don’t need to be high every time I do something.

The Memorial yesterday for my colleague was beautiful. Lots of people saying great things about a man who died too young. He wasn’t but 22 years older than I. Again, I don’t kid myself of mortality, even though most people think I’m too young to even think about it.

I need to focus on being. On existing free from this hell.

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